Can't see ME FOR ME

It sucks yes i have lost so much weight(121 lbs) but i can't see me for me i feel like that fat girl i have been for 30 + yrs !??!!? i put on my Bikini today and walked out side i FEARED i was going to SCARE that daylights out of someone :( i then thought it would be cool to POST on FB WHAT for that BRIEF second i felt GOOD !! then i thought AMY WTF !?!!?!?!? are you thinking DELETE it and FAST so i did GAH why can't i feel good in my own skin i know my tummy needs work but it will be fixed SOOOO Then will i feel better ????

Almost 6wk ..... WOOOHOOO

today i hit 11 lbs Loss since my Surgery Date !!! i am so excited i really think that having this done gave me back the spark i needed to get to my goal weight !!!
1st stop is 149 i can't wait to see that # !!!
today was day 2 of my getting speed back right now i am only running every other day i do get tired really fast when i jog so takin it really slow !!

5wks DOWN and Jogged ..

SLOW mite i add but i jogged the whole time i wanted to see how my body would react like swelling and all so far so good !!

THE SCAR.........

Ok so i relized in MOST pics i HIDE my scar so here it is well half of it in all IT's GLORY

i am feeling GREAT i get down at times where it sucks !!! i can't wait till i can get the revision done !!

4WKS DOWN !!

I am feeling so good NO pain at all SLEEPING great Drian FREE !! ( one drian Hole is still Leaky ) but over all i am feeling GREAT ! if i have my binder off to long my Muscle repair does get sore i still get tired faster but ... that to will all get better !! i am up to walking 3miles wooohooo it is hard to jog in my binder i am all stiff and tight lol so i think if i get to remove it a bit on wk 6 i will try to jog more :)

23 DPO ........... AND ..........

The Drian is GONE not so sure it was a good thing i should have kept it a while longer but today i woke up went for a walk and just added a little jog in there but there was also hills in this walk with it being longer so not sure where i messed up at lol but ...i got home was taken off my clothes to see my drian didn't have any thing at the top so i moved it stuff moved inside so i though oh must have had a kink in it while i was walking with the shorts i had on till i took them off and there was drianage all over YIKES what happend pulled my drian out to see it was full of air so i tried to squeeze it where the drian would then start to suck yuck back out welllll that didn't work i tried a few more time and thought OH what the heck i am pulling it out so i did it has been leaking bad today and i HOPE i don't get any fluid bulid up for i call my dr and all should be ok :) so YA YAYAY drian FREE and to celebrate here is a pic

JOGGED ..

YES i did jogged 3 blocks today and felt nice i could have went for more but not going to PUSH it yet !!
i still have my drian but the last 24 hrs i am down to 27 cc WOOOOT so almost there !! (today i snept my stitch today i was so OVER it hurting and i know that it is going to come out soon !!) get this ! i am going to remove it myself !! ha ha well Hubby or mom who ever wants the job hubby has a weak tummy so it mite be my mom LOL pics to come on that lol

THANKS SO MUCH TO ALL OF YOU THAT ARE SO SUPPORTIVE TO ME I LOVE YOU ALL
TRACI I LOVE !! GIRL SO WISH WE LIVED CLOSER !!

Yet another MOUNTIAN to climb

so today was my appt 3wks !! yay we talked about doing my boobs we set the date as Oct 13th BUT depending how much she qotes me at i MITE have to move the date to FEB witch would be fine Plastc Surgery is NOT Cheep lol and Hubby does NOT want a Loan so this will be $$ SAVED so with that being said
it looks as tho i am going to get a revision of my tummy to as the swelling goes down you can see some skin starting to sag around my belly button my Dr thought she should have done a T scar but since we didn't talk about it she didn't want me to wake up and FREAK at 1st i was NOT on board with this but now i am the more flatter i can get the better so HERE WE GO AGAIN lol she tell me this time around is NOT going to be as bad since there is NO muscle work this time i REALLY HOPE that is the CASE
GAH MY 1 WISH IS THAT I WOULD HAVE NEVER EVER EVER EVER DONE TO THIS TO MY BODY NOW I PAY FOR IT IF I JUST WANT TO LOOK LIKE EVERYONE ELSE

Well.. it was a Try ...

Jogged i gave it a shot today i was just feeling so great this am SLEEP is so much better now that it can be done on my hips !! YAY !! so i get up at 5 am head out for my walk listing to Sexy Bit@h by the way i am feeling it so i think LETS do this AMY it felt weird i am so tight everywhere it makes for a funny feeling so i get going and OUCH!!!! my hips are UBER tight i felt like i was going to BUST at the seams LMAO !! but that is the onlly way to say it best !! so i now know i will just have to work at it alittle more i will get there and i know it will been SOONER than Later ........


ok so i thought i would share with you a pic of what i have to WEAR ALL DAY LONG :)
also a few new tummy shots in clothes after my walk today WOOOHOO NO SAGGY BAGGY over my shorts !!!

Hey Ames is feeling like this NOW ;)

SLEEP !?!?!?

SLEEP was that what that was OMG !! we headed to my mil for a few days tho the road trip ws rought a long(5hr) road for a sore tummy i feel THIGHT !! when i get out of the car but all in all it was good but i could NOT take any kind of sleeping on my BACK ANY MORE... so i gave sleeping a try on my sides GOAL !! i slept good !! yayayay i got up this am went for a walk just felt AMAZIN.... i so wanted to add a little jog in there but the inner me said NO AMY just wait so i am going to give it alittle but longer just working on my distance not so much pace right now
Happy 4th ... I know i am Loving Live & all my choices i have chose !!
WHAT A JOURNEY....

17 days past op

YAYAYAYAYAY!! i am one drain down let me tell you it is all worth it i know 1 but if only you knew lol 1 is better then None in this case i promise lol so i go back on the 7th MAYBE just Maybe the 2nd one will come out to :)

2wk post Op..

Things are getting BETTER here for me ya ya yaya ... sleep is better still have to lay still and flat on my back but my leg is all good !!
i am down to 18 min miles when i started earlier this week it took me 28 mins that 1st mile !! ya me !!!
all the soreness pretty much gone already more like a numb feeling now that kinda sucks but i love my new look still swollen on one side more then the other and really bad about bikini line in the middle YIKES i think this is more from the drains YES i still have these horried things !!! i am just going to HOPE they will come out on my next appt on July 8th one can hope right lol
soo all in all SO GLAD i made this choice i could not have been happier !! with my results and it only gets better from here
i am already talking about my next surgery !!! lol i HOPE will happen in OCT !!!! WOOOOT