I Got This The Ugly Truth...

so today it really hit me Amy was going to have a PITY PARTY !!!!! why you ask you seem to have it all going in the right way sure i do the thought of did i make the right choice to be REALLY REAL with you all this pain is so much more that i thought i thought i would wake up looking like barbies twin HA HA HA not so much ! i want to really let you all know what has been going on in this little head of mine !

Day 1 i was so Ready for this in more ways that i can even type about i wanted this more than ANY thing i have wanted in MY LIFE !! so i never really gave any thought to much of it other then what i WOULD look like i was not even that scared when i went in yes i was having some high blood pressure so i know there was alittle but of me being SCARED
the dr came in marked my tummy got me already they gave me some calming meds and from here it all WENT fast !! i some what remember going in to the operating room them asking me to get over to the table i did then i ember the anthologist say i am going to put this mask on you just breath BAM i was out to wake up to my hubby by my side like he always is GOD i love that man !! they were telling him a whole lot of what to do and how to do it lol with in the hr i was being wheeled out and off to my motel room where i have to say i had so much meds nothing really hurt and i kept up with my meds like i was suppose to and slept well in the recliner

DAY 2
off to the dr office for my appt at 9:30 GAH i was dying to see what was under all the wrap i knew for sure i was IN PAIN WOW PAIN well was it pain or soreness tightness pain all in one is i guess how i would say it so i am hunched like an old lady slowly walking along i get in the room , here it goes the MUCH awaited time for me to see what i have been waiting for, what i have been wanting more then ANYTHING in the world !!! i get in the on the table she gets me nice and comphy , starts to unwrap me (keep in mind i told everyone i was sure i was going to BUST out in tears of joy)so i am in that mind set it was all i knew for the past 2 yrs of wanting this so BAD !!! oh here it is she pull off the last of the wrap and OMG ARE YOU KIDDING me really AMY what did we just do did we make the right choice ??? should we just have kept the skin would the skin have looked better then THIS WHAT OMG i could NOT say any thing i was totally SPEECHLESS !! i didn't like what i seen NOT in the least bit i was HORRIBIFED to be very honest with you i know my dr knew i was not happy , i am sure she has seen this before she just wrapped me back up asked if i had any questions i said no and let me go home to start this journey of healing ....
got home ,told my mom look my belly button is under my chin i look horrible ,everyone around me just kept saying AMY you have to heal JUST give it time i don't know how many times i want to break down but i felt i couldn't i could let my Hubby know that what he worked so hard to give was NOT what i thought it was going to be so i just bottled it all up , kept truckin

DAY 3
i slept in the recliner at home cause the pain soreness ,drains all it will NOT allow you to sleep any other way i got up , took a shower still looking at the new me in the mirror i had my doubt i can say i was till not happy tiring to get any one in my house to tell me i LOOKED FAB but no one want to say much they knew it was on thin ice for me so i love that my family will respect that and just let mom have her moment lol all i could think about still is my belly button looks high oh well done now get dressed , be over it done what can we do now !
Day 4
just a whole lot of laying around i didn't even want to get in the shower in fear i would have to face what i didn't want to !!!! so i just stayed nice and medicated up

Day 5
got up took a shower it just felt right that day i was feeling good took a shower as i unwrapped that morning i LOVED what i was seeing the swelling was going down wow that was what made it look so much like a train wreak my belly button *cute * mite i add i love it i just needs time to heal and i could not see that, i still have swelling to go today so that just means it gets better every day !!! yay!!

Day 6 till NOW i just love to look at the new tummy in the mirror it is looking Better every day !! i am happy with the choice i made !!
so you ask why the pity party today !!
the pain soreness what ever it all is it really gets overwhelming at times i still can't sleep laying down , any thing i do really my drains HURT i so want them out , i know that will make this healing process a whole lot better so i think not being the active person i was , the pain mix just really gets me down i sit so much that my butt hurts i have NOT been like this in YRS !! it is not me and is kinds depressing !!

Brings me to today i was tiring to find any vblog on tummy tucks i could on youtube i love to see what i have commming what they went though and all so i find BECKY if only this girl would know how much she changed my world today all i can say is wow !! THANK you BECKY you got me to realize i GOT this i can do this !! Thank YOU FOR THAT
here is her 1 yr video i Cried my eyes out really i can't wait to make one myself tho she does not come from the weight loss side of it i still LOVE her to pieces !!

www.youtube.com/user/beckrsr