Not Doing Well in DEC

WTF... is up with me i ROCKED out nov got down to the lowest i have been in my adult life am i really going to let that all go ?!?!?
OH HELL NO !
so i had a AH HA moment and if i sat here and told you what it was you guys would think i was a NUT CASE ! so i will Spare you of that but lets just say
OH HELL NO YOUR NOT !!!
Amy is always #1 and i will ROCK This and get to my goal But Thanks Bitch that is what i needed !!

Really just that ADDICATED ...

ok i want to start out by saying still doing a great job had 2 days this week with high cals 1800 but worked extra hard the next day in workout 2 hr yes it sucks but that is what has to be done when i have a high day the scale is NOT showing a loss yet for the week but you know for the 1st time in a REALLY long time i am not bummed by that ?!?!? i see the 154 and think wow Amy look at you i am the smallest i have ever been and it feels GREAT!!! sure i want to see that go down and i am sure i will it seems the past few feew it has worked out to lose one week and maintain the next really not sure why but oh well it works right ?!?!

now on to today do you all ever get in a pissy mood as you sit and watch everyone EAT ???? i do and i hate it cause in my house someone is always eating and i think i want to eat but if i do i know where it leaves me :( so i guess today is just a bad day i am pmsing so i am sure this all plays in together lol

Update on Tummy Tuck!

well yesterday was 7 weeks that i have been waiting for my ins to say a YES or NO?!?!?!!?
i really want to get this going ! come on already lol so i called my ins to see what has been taken so long or how much longer it will take i was told that it went to the office where they say YES OR NO on 11\3 and they don't take any longer then a month so she thought that maybe today or for sure Early next week WOOOOHOOOOO!! now i am just hoping it is a BIG FAT YES!!!!

YEAH BABY !!!

so i wi this am to see the lowest i have been on this journey i am just so FREAKIN CHICKEN HAPPY i could just scream from the tops of the roofs today lol

154

I DONE GREAT!!

we just got back and i am tired had some really great runs in the mountains nothing Better we really need to move there lol
but as for my time out of town it went great i ate well didn't over do anything !! i just really hope the scale will reflect that or i am going to be mad about all the good food i could have ate lol yes i think that is the inner FAT girl talking there lol got to love her !

WOOOHOOOO still in them 150's

LOL yes i am happy it seems every time i get to the 150's i am always that fast to mess up and be back to the 160's and with that being said i over did it at the bar Friday then the munchies that come after the bar GAH!! so i had to work extra hard to NOT see a gain this week i also had a hot late night date with some chocolate on Sunday so again busted my bum to NOT see a gain and well i came out on top !! i just want to keep going down from here

the bad things is the holidays are here YUCK!!! so look out me and the inner fat girl are going to do alot of fighting i am sure ! stay tuned to see who wins lol

WOOOHOOOO Landed in 150ville

Yes ! i made it how ever the scale was NOT in my favor on mon but i sure will take what i got today WOOOHOOO me ! now i am ready to stay on task and get my bags packed and ready for 140ville!!

WTF!?!?!?!?

ok really so the past week i have done good i know i could have done better i had a few days at 1200 cals one at 1400 & 1500 but really is that all that BAD?? i have been burning about 600 cals a day so about 1 hr of working out !! to get on the scale this am to be a 1lb up are you kidding me !?!??!? it is days like this that really makes me want to stuff my face!!!! and just give up BUT i am still going in hopes it was just a mess up and when i have my WI on wed it will say something BETTER??????!??!?!?!?

Halloween

Its about time but i got a new laptop that i just love i can take lazy to whole new level i like to say and watch tv and have my love LOL (my mini Hp HA HA) so here is our Halloween pic

my Hubby As Huge Hefner and me as the Bunny

BACK ON TRACK!!

WI today !

yes one week down again of me being back on track i still can only say i am taken it one day at a time but i am feeling wonderful i really HOPE that next week at wi i will be leaving 160ville FOR GOOOD And to never see it again !!!!!! ------------->
i went on a uber long run on sunday and i am still feeling a little sore ha ha i think i am getting old or i let my fat self ruin my body but i made the 7 miles and i am going to keep going!
i love to run ! it feels great ! i know for sure this yr i am going to get my 10k in ! i am so excited about it !
i hope to do a 1\2 marathon to but my tummy tuck mite get in the way of that but we shall see still no word yet back from the ins tomorrow it will be 4 wks so another 2 to wait i sure hope no longer than that i am so READY to get this going!

On the Up & Up again

Yeah here is Amy s0unding like a broken record i KNOW lol but i am going to keep this good streak up and get to my goal !
i did how ever find out that the OLD Amy can not come back lol (with this i mean ) not eating much and working my ass off ! yesterday i ate 1095 cals and burned 710 cals to leave me VERY ill feeling last night i had to get up and eat a little more i was way sick that i didn't know if i was coming down with the flu or was it how i treated my day ?? but after a few wheat thins i was better i just learned that i can't go so HARD core any more so i am willing to take 2lbs loss a week to get to where i need to be i have
31lbs to go and i am going to get there !!!!!!!!!!

Going to Rock Nov!

yeah it is a new month and yet again this is what i need ! i know i sound a bit like a broken record but this month it is time to dig deep and pull out my inner strong woman that i know has got me this far !! stop the over eating , eating candy , thank god i love to work out or i mite not be in a good place with all the bad eating i do
I CAN DO THIS AND WILL .....

Appt #1 Project UPLIFT lol

It went Well the Dr seems so nice ! i just can't wait to get this ball going ................we are submitting it to my ins to see if they well help pay for 1/2 or part of it they will only cover the part to remove any extra skin from my belly button down and it has to hang so many inches below my pelvic bone and mine does !!!( i know not a nice thought ) so for this part that the ins mite cover i have to wait 4-6 wks for there answer ! so cross fingers for me

OCT 5th ALREADY

i know i said BRING it but AHHH!!! that past week i have ate horrible !! only ate good one time last week ! so it is time to get that back were it needs to be !
yesterday i was feeling lots of energy lol i ran 7 miles but this am my legs are sore and so are my ankles ! but my goal is to keep upping how long my runs are i want to do a 10 K this spring as well as MAYBE get to the 1/2 marathon !! so i think this winter working on longer runs is a GREAT idea !

here it to Amy having a BETTER week i am getting so gitty about my appt on the 15th i checked out the sight that they have and really just seen before and after shots makes me cry i want this so BAD i feel it will complete me !!

www.scottsbluffplasticsurgery.com

WOOOT GOOD THINGS TO COME FROM OCT

BRING IT .... Amy is ready to have a GREAT month !
i have some rather great new for me i mad an appt to get a tummy tuck i think i really need this ! i have so much skin it is nutty i just feel i have worked so Hard ! becoming who i am today so i want to look as good as i feel !
My appt is Oct 15 th so stay tuned to this chapter in my Journey !
i will be posting pics of what i really look like with out the clothes but it will be awhile till i work up the guts lol
i kinda had a bad eating week AH!! i ate 4 days bad ! some worse then the other but surly went over my cal range so here is a new month and i am moving on !

Doing The Right Thing!

i am feeling so GREAT i am down another 1.7lbs !
i told my Hubby if doing the right thing feels so DARN good why have i been doing all the wrong stuff !!???!?!??
i am on track for the 1st time in a LONG time and i am lovin it ! i have been eating well for 11 days ! no binge ! eating at all stayin well in my cal range to !
LOVIN IT!!!!!!!!

i still have to take it day to day but i am sayin on task!

OUCH!!!

So yes i RAN MY ASS off yesterday and by night i could FEEL it my legs and ankles were so sore i could NOT sleep ! i got up this am and could Hardley walk but i made myself go on a walk with the girls and i think i stretched it out a bit !

so this AM i got on the scale still been rocken so why not right GUESS WHAT !?!?!?!?
down another 3.3 lbs !!

all i can say is that i am still takin it day by day but i am feelin GREAT ! i think i found ME again

5K & feeling GREAT !

i ran i 5 k today and i am just feeling over the TOP!! i cut off 4 mins from my time last yr running the same race GO GO GO GO ME !! just to stop and really think how far i have come is really empowering for me !!!

i have also had a GREAT week i lost 4lbs i think i was letting AMY slide and get put on the back burner like us moms tend to do ! but i am feeling so great i am going to continue to make sure there is AMY time in the RIZO household !! Happy Amy makes for a Happy mama and wife !!

IT FEELS SO AMAZING......... I FEEL SO AMAZING ............

Wheres the EASY BUTTON?!?!?!

i feel like i have just been down right OFF track sure i have GOOD days then i take about 10 steps back with bad days ! i am so lucky my workouts don't suffer or i would be up so much weight by now !
i so wish there was an easy button for this journey !
so today i feel almost like i have to start anew get back on track

STOP THE
1. eating after 6 pm
2.eating sweets !
3.stay in my cal range !

it is just Plan time to KICK it back up and get to my goal .............

My goals to get there * not going to be as BUM BUSTING as i was when i 1st started this Journey *

Work out at least 6 days a week
burn 400 cals at min a day
eat in goal cal range 1200 EVERY DAY!! no if and or butts !

NOT always the Case !

so as we all have guessed the past week i have NOT BEEN on track whats NEW with me right so i have jumped on the scale a little here and there and just NOT liking that darn thing ! just a silly # really makes or breaks me ?!?!?!
so this brings us to yesterday it was chilly out side and i knew i had to reach for my jeans ! thinking in my head OMG they are NOT going to fit and i am going to DIE if i get them out and they are sung or what not so last winter i always had my 9/10 hanging around for my FAT days lol so here goes i grab my 5/6 and slide them on guess WHAT they fit better then they did last yr nice and perfect ! i was in heaven ! really so it just goes to show you it is not all about the # it is really about how great you feel in something !

i am going to make the BEST out of sept ! *i know i can it is time for me to put the FAT girl back in remission !

Little Bit of This And that !

Oh Shoot ! let me tell you Queen of This and that i keep taken bites of everything i need to STOP this ! in a day who knows how much cals i get in all my bites !!! so this is my focus for this week to BREAK that habit of little bites here and there !

DAY 1 down YES AGAIN lol

so last night i stayed on track YEAH ME !!!
and tonight i am on track to ! i am stuffed from supper so i think staying on track will not be a hard thing to keep up tonight !!

cals for the Day 1,159
worked out for 65 mins burned 605 cals

New Hair Cut

So i got my hair cut yesterday and i must say i was feeling CUTE!! lol as for my eating not so cute !

today i have done Great now to just get my bum to bed and start out GREAT ! i was thinking last night i 32lbs that i want to lose and them maybe 10lb after i see what i look like lol so i REALLY would LOVE to get this off by the new yr .i am really going to try my bum off ! it is so CRAZY how much i can sit and think about wanting food for NO REAL GOOD REASON ! i am not hungry i just want to eat ! time to snip this in the BUM ! NOW !

I hope my news for tomorrow is I MADE it though Day 1 yet again :)

1,043 cals for the day

i workout out for 52 mins and burned 404 cals

Sat & Sun A BUST ...

Lets say i did good on my eating Sat but then you go out and have 10ish drinks you get tons of cals YIKES oh well i did set out for just a few but by the end of the night i was dancning ha ha so you could guess that i drank so much

so that left sunday as a bust to i didn't feel so HOT all day and i didn't even work out ! i think that made 12 dyas of not working out this yr so my goal now is to not have another day off this yr so it will avage out to only 1 day a month not bad huh but we shall see i love my days off here and there

now i am moving on ---------------------->

HERE IS A PIC OF ME AND MY HUBBY ON SAT BEFORE WE WENT OUT ! I LOVE HAVING TIME WITH JUST HIM !

BOOO! 1800 cals

OH shoot when will i ever get my eating back under control does this mean i really just have to clear the house of junk ?? i feel bad not to let my kids have some junk but then i want to eat it !
i need to get my act together !
i know i am not gaining cause i do keep up with my workouts but still why waste all my hard work just to eat it all away
HUMMMMMMMMM????????
will today be better ?

ON TO DAY 2

I made it with out attacking the kitchen last night i did have more cals then i would like but i will try to bring that down today !
i ended the day at 1400 so not to bad i am still not going to get on the scale till Sept 1 ! i really HOPE i see an # i like lol
i have been lifting and it really scares me that i will gain ! i know i don't want to look body builder just nice and firm

Still ON Day 1

LOL i guess you all should know that HUH ?
well now down to 12 days to see if i can EAT right NO junk
so last night i was doing GREAT ! till about 10ish i was already in bed watching tv when my hubby who was still up puts some spin dip in the microwave what a yummy smell that is so of course i got up and ate some ! SHOOT i know my cals were NOT as bad as they have been but still there was NO reason to even get out of bed to eat !
so on to today ! so far so good !
but what will the night hold cross your fingers for me lol .....

13 Days !

Ok so as you all can guess i have still been doing the same Ol i am going to give my self a challenge ! i want to eat right for the next 13 days !
i can do this ! wow losing the 1st 100lb was so much easier lol i am still just at maintaining my current weight witch is 160-150 so i guess i should be happy about that BUT the holidays are fast coming and i want to get a few lbs down so i can enjoy them a little so here in the next few you are going to be getting a play by play of what my day is like and i can bet at times it mite not be so pretty lol
8/19
my day went well i have ate great and at about 1,000 cals for the day i am going to just STAY here for the day (god willing ) i don't get up and attack the kitchen lol (i can do this ) it is just food and i will get to eat again tomorrow ! so i have to say that over and over lol i am going to get to my goal ! before the new yr i want to ring the new yr in with the NEW Amy ! at goal and spend the rest of the yr figuring out what i need to do to stay there but i can guess for me i can do that part i have been at this weight for almost 1 yr
SO HERE IS TO ROCKEN OUT THE NEXT 13 DAYS
REALLY WHATS 13 DAYS ?

Stayed on this week

i was out of town for the week with my hubby while he worked so i think i did pretty well for eating out every meal all week long !
i stayed at about 1400 cals all week i know a little high so i am going to nip that now that i am back home and take it down a few !

YEs! Day one down MANY TO GO

so i did it i stayed on track yesterday even though i ended my cals a little higher then i like them to be that's ok i need to know that 1,400 is really NOT that bad !
so i am movin on i really am going to make this work i want to get these last few lbs off for GOOD!!!

Started Chalean Ex

I started Chalean Ex wow has my body been sore lol but so worth it all so here goes my before pic and IF i don't get my eating in line i will not get anything out of this !

STRUGGLING...........YET AGAIN!

WHY i hate that i can do so good for a while then do bad for the next few days to follow why all i am doing it one step good one step bad if i keep this up i will NEVER see that 135 ! or even my ULTIMATE goal of 125 !
so as i have said so many times the past few months it is time for me to STOP the binges ! i can do this i know i have that inner strong women that got me to the 100lb + loss in only 5 months so it is time to dig DEEP and pull her back out i just want to eat right for one month! then i will work on the next lol so here goes !
i am at my cals for the day 1,083 i don't care i am going to STAY STRONG tonight i don't care what cookies is calling my name i am going to come back tomorrow and tell you just how good i was lol i am in HOPES that i will see the lowest i have ever been my in my Adult life with in the next week maybe 2 but i HAVE TO ! i want this ! more then food !
DAMN ADDICTIONS!

Got My Chalean Extreme !

I can NOT wait to try this program out ! i thought that i would not like it because i didn't ever really like turbo jam just didn't click with me well about 2 wks ago i thought i would give the chalean ex a try i had a friend that burned me just a part of it she thought i would like ! OMG i was in LOVE when i was done i could not move for 2 days after but i knew when i was done it ROCKED! so i had to order the whole set i just got it in the mail yesterday so mon i will start it i am going to TRY my hardest to stay loyal NOT binge the whole 3 months to see if i can really shake these last few lbs i have
so my new found love of Chalene i decided to try turbo jam again OMG i am love with this as well it really kicks some bum and you burn good cals i love it !
my oldest daughter and her friend workout with me yesterday and i have to say the my 32 yr old bum kicked there 13 & 14 yr old bum HA HA girls it felt GREAT mama kicks BUTT!!!
there is a great friend on spark that is struggling as well so we have decided to not look at that BIG picture but to take it 10lbs at a time so it don't seem so bad ! so we started off yesterday great ! so i really hope this is the end for me and a great beginning for her ! i am ready ! to get these lbs off and maintain for the rest of my life ! i know i can do this !
so this weekend some time i will be taken pic (before) i start the Chalean Ex and them after the 3 months i will take more so i HOPE i can say WOW ! look what i done !

Been A while

Here are a few new pics i have taken i like to take pics now and then even if there is no real change in my weight just so everyone knows i am still around and still busting bum to keep these lbs off ! and lose more !

But as i am sure you all know i am still doing the same old stuff being good one week doing bad the next AH!! i so need to end this cycle and just pull out that inner STRONG WOMEN that has got me this far i am still in the 160's then to the 150's so i am somewhere in between that right now BUT i am doing my best to end the binge eating and get back to my old ways !

i am not sure my old way of working out will every come back lol i mite have good days but BUSTING my ASS is really not what i want to do any more WOW where did i come up with all that but the GREAT thing is i did and it only took me 5 months to lose a 100lbs but let me tell you it was a LOT of BUSTING BUM...........

i am not really into doing that much working out any more lol i still work out 7-6 days a week more to the 6 lately then 7 i don't aim for HOURS of workout any more i have 39 lbs i would like to lose and if they come off 1 by 1 i don't care as long as they come off and STAY OFF ! i am really just gearing up to what i will and CAN do the rest of my life sure it was all good for 5 months to live like a NUT and work out till the cows came home everyday lol but in real life i know i can't do that till the end and be happy

GAME PLAN

eating 1,000 -1,200

and working out 7-6 times a week just depending on what i am feeling for the day week

only aiming to burn 400-800 cals a day but if i get 400 i will be HAPPY ! i really think i can live the rest of my life like this i just need to stop the binges so i can get these last lbs off for GOOD!!

ALMOST 14 DAYS!!!!

i have been Binge free for almost 14 days as of tomorrow it will be 14 WOOOHOOO me it feels so great to be back on track !!
i got on the scale this am to see
157.6
we did go out last night and i ended with 1,600 cals and still have to workout today but i am taken it slow today lol had a few to many drinks last night lol

9 days Binge Free .........

i am tiring to be Binge Free today i am working on day 10 ! i have had some higher cals days in the past 9 days but not over and above where it is hard to come out of lol i had 3 days high and they were 1,600 & 1,900 2 of them were at 1,600 but i can bust my bum the next day and work some of them off just what i have been doing !

i braved the scale today and i am at
158.2WOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOO
if i can keep up my BF life getting to my goal JUST MITE HAPPEN !!!!!!!!

Still HERE

I just have been doing about the same so i thought do they need a play by play NOT SO MUCH lol i am still just hanging out in the 160s still working out maybe not like i used to but still 6 days a week !
i did learn somthing about my self though i have been going out of town a whole lot with NO SCALE and just not getting on that thing really leaves me feeling GREAT day from day i think what really brings me DOWN i just not seeing the 135 that i have in my head i need to be !
i know it is some thing i am still going to aim for but not totally Think about EVERYDAY all day ! i want to be ME ! start to LOVE me and i think that staying away from the scale mite just do this for me for a while

Looking UP!

so a friend of mine got me thinking i really need to start to run again so i ran last night and today ! it felt nice i am coming back SLOWLY but Surely !!! lol i can't let my self down

today i am on Track ! with 6 points to spare lol

GOOD - BAD

Well my week didn't end to bad could i have done Better OF COURSE i am sucking this week as well i ate pizza, ice cream & LOTS of ICE CREAM i think i ate my weight in the Shit AHHHHH POOEY of course i feel as though i am Losing this Battle and i am self Sabotaging Everything i worked so hard for

WHY?!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My WI was
169.8

Movin Slow

But Moving..... is the good thing i am on day 3 of making good eating choices ! i know i have been here before so right now i can only take this one day at a time ! and that is what i am going to do !
i want this BAD enough i am going to make this work ! this week i am really focusing on my mind and my relationship with food so for my workouts i am being really lax! i think i need to see some loss to get me motivated and them my workouts will pic back up !

5/13/09~ 171.1
today
170.1

STRUGGLING...........

OMG really i am hanging here by a thread wow! i just can't believe this is so hard for me right now :( i have gained yet again ! it is time to get real or just give in and say well AMY you Failed again !
BUT i don't want to give in that way me being addicted to food is one thing that i just can't get OVER it is always going to be with me a struggle for the rest of my life :( i have talked with a few women that have lost over 100lbs as well and we all feel that this will NEVER fully leave us sucks ! but i guess part of life !
so yesterday i didn't do any workout i just sat and had to think all day what my plan of action was going to be i am going to make this work i have worked way to hard to let it all go now !

in oct i was 154 i am now up to 171 SUCKS!
i will get back to 154 and move on to my goal ! it is just going to be like starting all over like it was back in April of 2008 !

Starting to LOVE me .........AMY

Ok so i got up this am and got on the Scale YES again and UP them 3.2 lbs i was down yesterday OF COURSE so i was going to hit UBER slacker down in the DUMP mode but i got to thinking to myself as i was sitting here WHY ?? girl you have lost 100lbs YES a 100lbs!! what part of that should be Depressing !?!?!?!? i set out on the Journey saying i want to lose a 100lbs well i did that i guess i get so caught up in the BEING THINNER i truly don't think of what i have done !

i went to my moms yesterday and she gave me some pics i looked at them and thought WOW does it really take pics for me to see just how far i have come ! i have the FAT girl still in my mind so much i still think i am her ?????!!!! and although i am not no skinny Minnie i still LOOK good!

Lovin Amy is going to be a work in Progress i want to think of me and just say i do love ME!

No off my bum for a walk in this nice weather today !

UMMMMMMMMM..........

Well i over did the food last night when i got home after a night out lol but as of now i am still in the good with my ww points for the week i did get on the scale this am just to "SEE" lol i know i should NOT have wed is still a few days away but i was down 3.2 lbs :) so i guess it mite be working

i am so tried today i said Sundays were my day off but i really should do something i was really lax this week with my work outs and even had one day that i only burned 200 cals YIKES a little low :( but as of right now i am not feeling much but being lazy but i guess i have a few hrs left to pull something out lol

i also have the feeling that i am going to JUMP head 1st in to the food :( so maybe what happens tonight i will NOT get in the good of the points OH i hate DAYS like this :(

WW

Well as i told you before i was not doing so well my plan was to START on may 1st but i really just screwed that up like i have been doing for the past months ! so i did a restart on Wed . so wed and thur i did GREAT only ate my daily points so this now brings me to yesterday i didn't do so well i at Alot of JUNK i am still within my week bonus points but it still feels so WRONG that is just nuts but i guess i will just have to see where it gets me i have always ate so little that any time i do eat i feel bad like it is WRONG!! so i guess all i can do is see what wed brings !
i have not been getting on my scale at all for what the past 2 -3 weeks so i Hope i can get back in this 100 % and see a loss !

Joined Weight Watchers

Well the title says it all lol i wanted to try something new and i think this mite be what i am going to do ? i am in total BURN out and i am just not feeling the love for much right now i started WW friday but we were out of town for the weekend and i didn't eat so well so really to day is going to be my 1st day back on track i chose fridays as my WI day for WW so we will see where it gets me ?
i also think i am going to take off 1 day a week from working out ? this is what i say right now when af is in FULL force but who knows that could change she really does BRINGs ME DOWN !! big time :(
i have 25lbs to go and i WANT THEM GONE!!!

So Tomorrow is MAY

that means my Eating Healthy For the whole month is my goal !
of course we are heading out of town for the weekend with tons of yummy food to TEASE me :(
so today nana took me and Lilleigh out for lunch and lets just say i didn't hold back Oh well
Af is coming any day and she is really FUCKING with me sorry to use that word but i feel i want to EAT everything then just sit and CRY you don't know how many times today i have held back tears ??? i feel like i am losing it !?!?!?

i had a thought last night when i am in total Binge mood i seem to just zone OUT! when i come to i feel like OMG did i really just eat all that :( i so hope i can make my goal this month

NO AMY YOU WILL MAKE YOUR GOAL THIS MONTH !

A GOOD WAKE Up Is All Ways GREAT....

Needing a good wake up and The Biggest Loser does this for me after 1 long yr you really get lost in all the GREAT that has become the new me! But I must Not forget where I came from and where I still need to get I LOVE AMY THE NEW AMY ! So now it is time to get to the next part in Amy's journey and get to the end of this journey to live my new life!



I love Amy and we can do this !

WEEKEND RECAP.........

Well No good news about the 5k i missed it i went out to celebrate a friend Bday and lets say i over did it :( oh well there will be another one

i have been eating like CRAP still AH!! i have to get my Shit together ! FAST! lets say i didn't like what i see on the scale!

Game Plan to see if i can Eat right for a whole month ! ?? all of may so here i come good eating lol ..

5k TOMORROW

I am ready to just get it OVER lol i am nervous lol i know all i can do it get out there and do my best ! i have ate like CRAP all week whats new for me right !

so today i am getting BACK on track i want to get to my goal someday and at this rate 2 steps forward and 2 back is NOT going to get me there i just ordered new clothes do i want them to small by the time they get here NO WAY! so here is to doing good *Cheers* i want to be at lest 144 by July ! Can i do it !! YES I CAN !!

WHY do i let food control me ! must focus on this to figure it out !

OH Lazy Hit me going 100 MPH

I woke this am NOT wanting to do anything Lilleigh is sick so she didn't want to get to nanas this am so i just have not done NADA this am but want to EAT!! Yikes i need to get out of the house so i stop thinking of FOOD!
i didn't WI today i just called it good for the week and the scale :( i will hope i can eat better for the rest of the week !& i hope i will see somthing great on wed (one can Hope right )

What a wonderful day ........

Can you believe this and it NOTHING to do with the scale ... or eating lol i got to go and workout with a Friend Jess she is doing the 5 k on Sunday to so we thought we would do the route together it was just so much FUN working out with someone ! we did 6 miles today jog/walk then when we were done we hit the Hot tub and Sauna wow it just was so relaxing it felt like a MOMMY'S DAY OUT ! i love it and i really hope we can do this 1 time a week ! it is truly refreshing !

as for Wi NOT SO GOOD but i guess what do i think will come out of binging 3 days last week AH!! i hope that my WI on Friday will LOOK Better!

OH WOW!

So today i ROCKED HARD ! i burnt almost 1900 cals ! but i am tired yes i worked my bum off cause i had to much to eat last night :( the 2nd time i have binged in not even 2 week MUST RECONDITION MY MIND!!

This am i went on a practice run for my 5k and i did it in 29.09 my last 5 k i done it in 32.32 so i am getting FASTER..........

well i am totally POOED so i am heading to the shower for the 3rd time today lol then hitting the couch ! and NOT moving till that am !

Busting my BUM.......

WOW! i really busted my bum .... to get that binge OFF in cals i burnt off over 1,200 yesterday and so far toady 880 i still want to at least burn off 200 -300 more ! then i will be RIGHT on worked off all them extra cals i had and still burned enough for them days to ! WOOOHT! i am ready to see what wed brings lol still a little nervous about it but i think i always am when it comes to scale day

Way to Hungry.........

Shit Shit shit! i blew it last night but you know what i am going to make up for it get up and dust off i have NOT been doing good for a week to let it all go from here !!! NO WAY NO HOW!!
wed is WI and that scale will BE DOWN MORE!
i ate
Chili crackers with cheese
4 Pisces of chocolate
2 sev of my fruit /covered in chocolate
1 slice of pizza
so what does that mean BINGE!
AHHH that's ok i am up and moving on ...........

What a Wonderful week ..........

I had WI today for my 2nd Challenge i am WOOOHOOO -1lb down !(159.3) i have had such a great week i have stayed on track ! this is really the 1st week since Oct that i have not binged AT ALL! i stayed in my cal goal the whole week sure it was hard at times but i always found ways NOT to eat !
here is to another GREAT week !

NO SCALE FOR ME NOW TILL WED..........

Wii Fit.......

WOW it was 36 days since i got on the Wii Fit i could not believe what a work out it really is doing the HullaHoop was whipping my bum lol but it was GREAT fun !

HERE IS A LITTLE COMPARISON
Yesterday i did the 30 shred levels 1 & 2 ~Jillian Michale's for ~56 mins burned 410 cals
Today i did the Wii Fit 46mins ~ burned 468 cals !

as for my eating it is going GREAT today was 1 wk that i didn't binge it feels so GOOD to be on the right TRACK!!!

Just a thought ~...........
why is it that every time you eat you just want to keep EATING i will eat just a little to satisfy me and all i can think about is EATING MORE !!! YIKES !!

BLC Started TODAY .............

I feel so good about this i feel as this is IT!!! i am going to get these last few lbs off for GOOD ! i can't wait i feel my old self is coming BACK that STRONG WOMEN THAT GOT ME THIS FAR..

Last week

173

this week

160.3

One Yr Ago TODAY..........

I Remember getting out of bed and saying this was IT ! NOT NO MORE....... so i started on my Journey !

it has been a very Tring time but so worth all the SWEAT it took me to get to where i am today!

i eat so much better of course i have days weeks where i eat what i want when i want but i ALWAYS WORK OUT !

in fact i have only missed 1 day in this whole yr of working out ! 1 DAY WOOOHOOO ! MEEE!

so i got BRAVE today and posted some pics of me in my new suit

East Was a SUCESS...........

Yes this mama AKA bunny didn't get into ANY of the candy WHOOOT! i didn't over eat any of the Dinner WOOOOHOOOOOOO........... I CAN SO DO THIS ................
WI day has changed AGAIN my BLC is starting again and now WI will be WED....... i can't wait to see what WED will HOLD for me !

Happy Easter

so i was the Cook and the Bunny today so as you all know my house is FULL of temptations i have been staying Strong and doing VERY well today !
i am on day 4 of staying on task I LOVE it i feel so empowered when i am doing well i even went out to have a few beers last night and of course drank MGD 64 cals Love that stuff ok i don't really LOVE it lol but if i am going to have a drink i don't want it PACKED with cals lol
i am so excited to see what WI day holds for me i didn't Post WI day this week cause it was just plain BAD i know i should have to just keep track but i didn't bummer but here is what i was i shot up to
173 4/8/09
OMG all my bad eating for like 2 wks in a row but my bad eating is going to be a thing of the past i want to drop my last 38 lbs this is IT!!!!!! no fooling around stop the over eating Amy and stay on track so wish me luck that the scale will be WAY down this week !

WHY is IT ............?

Ok so i Hate the DREADED question of
"How did you lose your weight?"
& why do i hate this cause when i lay it all out and they get to the part where i stayed at 1,000 cals a day THEY FREAK....... and say you are staving yourself Hell no it was Not easy when i started sure i was Hungry i ate like a PIG before but once my body got used to it i was ok! i do what works for me i have NEVER told any one to do what i did ! so WTF.... do what works for you and don't worry about how i achieved what i did i got it done so leave it at THAT..........!

I had a great day yesterday and i HOPE this is just the start of what is to come for the weeks months ahead............

What Drove me ............

To lose 100lbs ?........... was it the whole competitive side of me and now that i sit at home all day every day i don't have NO competition ? with the ladies at work i knew they were watching my every move waiting for me to mess up i couldn't give them that satisfaction but now i don't know all i want to do is eat ........ my weakness is at night i can do fine all day then BAM............ look out and get out of my way when i get these attaches .........

we are down to 18 days till my 5k am i going to run it feeling like a HUGE FAT COW???

34lbs....................

Ok i have 34lbs to go and i am can't seem to shake this WHY ?? really me and Hubby had a DEEP talk last night about how i felt why i was feeling this way what happened to the Strong women i was ? where did she go ? will i find her again ? it is FAST approaching one yr since i started this journey I'm so Pleased with my self i am still on it and not have gained lots back i think it was just MY time to be ME the real me that i have always wanted to be !! i knew this girl was hiding deep in side and wanted out ! so i can't let her go i need her she needs me ! i have to work at this i need to STOP the self SABOTAGE!!
you would think that losing over 100lbs that 34 lbs would be walk in the park but SHIT it is NOT i am so addicted to food it is SCARY ........ i so know what people feel like that have addicitons YIKES it is truly a scary thing ..........
af is dragging me down big time this week it is sucking the life from me ................

I READ SOMTHING CUTE ON A BOARD YESTERDAY IT IS SO ME :
"I KNOW THERE IS A SKINNY GIRL INSIDE ME SCREAMING TO COME OUT BUT I QUITE HER WITH COOKIES "

Rocky Road.....

Only at day 2 of doing the right thing and i feel as i am on a rocky road i am over my cals that i would like to be at i am at 1382 i know i am NOT doing that bad right now but i still have ALL Night i can feel me BREAKING and i don't want to .... why must eating be so ADDICTING to me ?????

Amy YOUR Woth It.....

Yes i am worth getting back on track and doing the right things! yesterday went well so of course i am feeling Getting today i love this feeling i just need to keep this going from NOW ON !

Af showed today witch is fine at least it is NOT on a WI day lol like she likes to do every other month

i ordered my swimming suit this am not sure how it will all go down with it gets here lol but it sure looks cute on line lol

Nothing NEW..........

So i have still be bingeing I suck i really need to get this back in check before i give up on it for ever i know i should be the Strong woman that got me this far ! but i am not not sure why i am so much better then letting the FOOD sneak back in to my life right ?
my Hubby is doing so well i need his will power !
my workouts have rocked Thanks gosh or i would be in so much trouble !
i hope all of you that are on your Journeys are doing Great Leave me a comment and let me know ! i love hearing GREAT news! at this point I NEED IT !

HATERS...............

Ok so i am so SICK of FUCKING Haters i am so nice to everyone and then just get shit on like i am NOTHING so much for SUPPORT RIGHT???? i love to Support everyone i can on there Journeys but really i don't get any kind of Support in return ? i have so MUCH mean things going though my head right now i don't want to say anything that mite Offend any one cause believe me it is really NO Friend of mine that pissed me off but still i felt i support them they can do the same right ? for now i will bite my lip and not say any more
*DEEP BREATH*

The Scale is Looking better .................

Ok well i didn't loose to much from last week but you know how my week went so seeing a Loss really is AMAZING lol so i will take it !

last week

164.8

this week

164

Happy April..........

I am so going to ROCK in April i AM going to make this the 1st month in a LONG time that i don't MESS up ! my 5 k is 26 days away i want to be in top shape Not feeling like a GIANT PIGGY!
Yesterday i ROCKED just don't know if can do all the working out i did EVERYday lets just say that by 9ish i could NOT move ! i didn't over eat cause i couldn't get off the couch lol this is what i did yesterday

Top # is Mins bottom is Cals Burned
Cardio & Calories Burned
MINUTES
CALORIES BURNED
Home Elliptical
31
320
Home Elliptical
30
210
Treadmill ~ RUN
12
110
At the Gym Combo~
76
604
Daily Totals:
149
1244

so now on to a GREAT day today no i don't think i will get this much working out in today we have to go out of town this afternoon

Me and the Fat Girl ............

Are going to be FRIENDS if it kills me ............ really it is her i Battle EVERY night
1. she will learn that we have come a LONG WAYS
HEE HEE we will work on that 1st .......

Day one!

MUST LEARN AND LIVE BY THIS ......

*Got this from one of my Good Friends*
I am hoping my inner fat girl will be able to figure out that my slip ups aren't going to turn into a freight train going downhill out of control. When she figures out that I am exercising every day and will continue doing so because it makes me feel good, and when she figures out that this new life is my normal, then she can relax a little and quit yelling at me. I don't think I can make her leave. I used to need her to protect me from getting hurt. When she figures out that I can get hurt but I have learned other survival skills besides turning to food, maybe she will be able to slowly slip into the background. When she sees that loving myself isn't hard anymore, maybe she won't feel as powerful. When I quit being afraid of her and just appreciates her as a gentle reminder of how far I've come, then I will be free to love HER!!Maybe we're not meant to get rid of her. Maybe we're meant to learn to love how she can make us stronger. I am hoping my inner fat girl will be able to figure out that my slip ups aren't going to turn into a freight train going downhill out of control. When she figures out that I am exercising every day and will continue doing so because it makes me feel good, and when she figures out that this new life is my normal, then she can relax a little and quit yelling at me. I don't think I can make her leave. I used to need her to protect me from getting hurt. When she figures out that I can get hurt but I have learned other survival skills besides turning to food, maybe she will be able to slowly slip into the background. When she sees that loving myself isn't hard anymore, maybe she won't feel as powerful. When I quit being afraid of her and just appreciates her as a gentle reminder of how far I've come, then I will be free to love HER!!Maybe we're not meant to get rid of her. Maybe we're meant to learn to love how she can make us stronger.

BACK? ............

To doing OK HA HA HA ok one day i do good lets not get to over joyed right ? i guess i didn't blog yesterday my son had a Wresting meet his last one and he ROCKED the HOUSE *that's my boy * WOOOHOOT he got 1st!
so i packed my Special K meal bar , 2 snacks, 1 special k cereal bar and 1 special K Protine water i only ate the meal bar it was not as long as i thought came home had a GREAT dinner and maintained (ha ha some what ) my cals ending on a good note just a tad over 1,000 now to keep that up !
my Hubby WI yesterday down 2 more lbs for him WHOOT i am so Happy for him he is BEING so strong right now doing way better then me ! but now i believe he is at his lowest in a WHILE and the weight loss bug BITE him hard lol he started at
308 now his is at 265 so lbs lost 43!

Avoiding...........

having to come here today and say YET again i BLEW it so now i am down to less then a month from my 5k and eating like a PIG?!!?!?!?
This has to stop i start out everyday with the idea that i will NOT over do anything but then by night i must just get board and EAT!!! EVERYTHING!!! i SUCK!!
so yet again can i DO THIS!!
we as a family got out for a nice walk outside it could be a little warmer here but it was still NICE!

Just some thoughts ..........

HA HA yes more thoughts from me lol as i sit herE i am at almost 1400 cals for the day not bad but i don't need ANY more and i will work on getting that # down tomorrow now ! to just get though tonight!
*Deep Breath*
AMY YOU CAN DO THIS !
WHY MESS UP ALL YOU WORKED FOR SO HARD!!

STAY TUNED..........

DAM Amy.................

Why must you Self Sabotage EVERYthing you work so hard for Over What FOOD??

i was reading a blog yesterday on spark it HIT home so much it was SCARY! it was all about how the world is Against us former FAT GIRLS how EVERYone and EVERY thing points back to uses gaining all our weight back and for any one I KNOW how EASY it is to want to eat EVERY THING in sight but does that mean i want them to be right! HELLL NOOO!! i want to prove them wrong

WHAT DO I LACK NOW THAT I HAD ALMOST 1 YR AGO???

1.SELF CONTROL!!!!!!!

Yes i am ADDICATED..................

I LOVE MY ASICS SO MUCH I AM ALWAYS ON THE HUNT FOR NEW PAIR AT A GREAT PRICE LOL I GOT THESE OFF EbaY FOR ONLY $40 SHIPPED BRAND NEW ON EASTBAY THEY SELL FOR $90 BEFORE SHIPPING SCORE

BUT HUBBY TOLD ME THIS IS IT NO MORE SHOES FOR AWHILE ................

just thought i would share a pic of the shoes i got Dh for xmas i love FLASHY shoes !

Hanging On By A Thread...........

That is how i feel right now not sure what i want to do i know i have been doing HORRIBLE this week ! and the scale sure did say that

165.3/164.8 ~less then when i took the pic HA HA
Last week
164
but on sat
160.4(not sure the scale was right but i liked what it said lol)
HOLY MOLY i will spare you all a pic i don't even want to waste my time taking one and downloading it ! (ok so i took the STUPID PIC) have to own it right !
GAH! i have been stuck in the 160's for months now since oct i guess in a way that is NOT a bad thing atleast i am NOT up 50- 60 lbs by now i know them lbs can come back quick but i want to get to at least 144lbs to be at a NORMAL weight for my body frame will i get there ??
Oh i know i just need to take this one day at a time !
I WILL GET THERE
I seem to always take 5 steps up then 5 back ! i need to get real for the 1st time in a LONG time !
i don't know why i think since i am thinner i can eat what i want when i want ? is that because i am Happy at the weight i am ? i don't need to be any less? or is that fat inner girl loving her food again ? Who know i just got to keep going !
5K
it is a Month away from my 5k as of TODAY i wanted to lose some weight by then ! i know i ran my last one at over 180lbs so i know my weight would not be a deal right now but i want to NOT feel like a BIG Reese's CANDY HA HA !
my goal this month is to run at lest 30 min every other day (if not more) that way i am ready for the 5k i know my Hubby is going to run it with me so i know we will not run the whole way ( i don't think ) i would love to push him hard enough to do this but we will do what he can ! that is what Together means and that is what we signed up for in this 5k he did tell me if i want to leave him i could just run HA HA what a sweet guy i think i would feel BAD!

NOTE TO SELF:
1. AMY YOU WILL EAT AGAIN
2. YOU DON'T NEED CANDY (i know you feel like it but you don't)
3.YOU DON'T NEED TO EAT AFTER 6 PM (really tomorrow is not that far away )
4. YOU DON'T NEED TO EAT WHEN YOU NOT HUNGRY (YOUR JUST BOARD)

Calories are UP ..............

For the night i can have a little something but not much maybe some sugar free Jello with some Fat Free Whip Cream and that is it !!!!!!!! so i am going to be downing the water to keep my mind off food !! YIKES!! wish me luck girls !!

STAY TUNED FOR TOMORROW UPDATES LOL

Yeah i love THESE TO MUCH................

WILL I............

Get back on track yesterday started out GREAT till i started Supper then it was DOWN Hill from there i ate about 10 RBPE Yes i did say 10 i got in a REALLY great workout last night so i am hoping that sent me to the right way today i really hate how i feel when i don't eat right i am so off , sluggish i don't want to move ! i swear WE ARE WHAT WE EAT YIKE! i must be a giant Reese Peanut Butter Egg by now YUK!
todays is going good so we shall see what i got to say about my day tomorrow

Reese Peanut Butter Eggs

Please someone come and take them all !!!
i have been eating my weight in candy the past few days I SUCK!
but i cleaned my slate NOT looking back just going to MOVE on ! WI will be VERY SCARY this week ! but i guess i will have to face it right! after all no one was holding me down and making me eat them *DARN i wish that really was the CASE LOL*

Bingeing~

NO NO NO NO !! for the past 2 days i have binged ! I HATE WHEN I DO THIS i feel that after i work out so hard i toss all that away for food ?! GREAT! so i bet i will see a gain this week i still have till thur to make up for my BAD eating this week !

Eating like a PIG!

Yes this is what i have been going since last night so IF i don't get my act together & fast we know that means a gain i am so SICK OF ME DOING THIS YO YO YO YO ! THINK I COULD PUK!! OH I NEED TO GET MY SHIT TOGETHER !
so i guess only time will tell if i get my Ducks in a row or not !
HA "AMY YOU BETTER "
I will keep you all posted to see if i do or don't !
i had 2 really good workout today the weather is so nice but my Hubby said snow the rest of the week WHAT?!?!?!? i love getting out side !
i walked 5 miles today and then road my bike for 5 miles to ! now if my eating always went as good as my work outs!

Drinks=WAY TO MANY CALS

Last night was my mom's Boyfriend Bday he turned 26 so we all went out eating was really not my down side to the night i didn't have much to eat but my Drinks alone were almost 900 CALS!! are you kidding wow just for something i DRANK well at any rate it was fun so who cares it is NOT like i drink much any ways ! a few times a yr MAYBE lol
I got on the Scale this am (go figure right ) well i lost my weight that i KNEW was water weight so i am down to
160.4 ~ WOOT now lets just HOPE that stays off! after them Calorie PACKED drinks lol

I suck~Happy 1st day of Spring

I WI after all yesterday i am UP 2.1 lbs YIKES to much eating ! i really didn't expect that my numbers did not say that i guess i must have got carried away with the bits i had last week ? unless i gained some Muscle but i wouldn't think that much ? i did lift a few times last week who know at any rate it was a GAIN and THAT SUCKS!

I started my new Spring Challenge today so i HOPE i will NOT see a gain ANYMORE but i think i have been saying that for a LONG time now AH!!

164.0

Last week

161.9

GAIN 2.1 lbs

29lbs to get to goal

Special K update~

it went good better then i though i was not even finding my self to hungry it all feel just about right when it was time to eat again ! *i think i can do this for a week *

No Scale for me this week

I got up this am and told myself NO Scale today i know i should WI but i am NOT i ate so much stuff that was salty yesterday i don't even want to think what the scale will say YIKES! i could not even get my wedding ring off this am maybe tomorrow who knows i have another Challenge that starts tomorrow we don't have to WI for it (kinda weird) till next week after it has started for a week so who know i mite wait till that wi but you all know me NOT sure i can go that LONG with NO SCALE lol
Also i started the Special K Challenge this am so lets see how that goes! i felt all i got to eat this am was a BITE of Cereal ( HA HA ) 27 g IS NOT MUCH
WISH ME LUCK ON THIS ONE

FAST FOOD & New Shoes ~

Ok so i GAVE in today and ate fast food YIKES ! i loved it to i think it was just what i needed (YEAH right ) but you know some times you just NEED that junk then your fine & back on track !i had a Filet-o-fish med fries and a LARGE (yes Large )Frosty from wendys so tomorrow i am going to try the Special K Challenge it seem HARD there is not much to eat lol but i am going to give it a shot at least for 1 week not so sure about the 2 lol

i got my new pair of Asics i just loved the ones i got for my birthday ! so i had to order my Daughter some track shoes and while i was doing that a pair for MAMA just right in to the cart lol i got 20% off of them or i would have passed we got 3 pairs of shoes for only $106 who could pass that up right;)

Bites OF this and THAT~Happier Fat Girl

So i NEED to make better eating choices YET again this week i have to say this! i am still munching after 6 pm ( I DIDN'T want to do this any more ) i keep telling myself i have been doing good but really ???? have i this week i have grabed little bits of this and that i took a sneak on the scale(yes that stupid thing again ) lets just say my loss i had seen Earlier this GONE! WHAT!! but i have been tracking EVERYthing of course them bits of this and that ! i HOPE it is only because i had a late night snack and that is what made me weight more i guess it will all be told in the am !


WAS I A HAPPIER FAT GIRL???
i often ask myself this i don't think so well maybe just on different levels so should this really matter to me ??? all i think about 90% of the day is my weight , what i am going to eat , how i look , how much i weigh AHHHHHHHHH!!!!! it gets so DRAINING at times i feel some days i am drowning my self in my "diet" world when i was fat i just ATE what ever when ever how ever and i NEVER thought about ANY OF IT !! but did i have days where i felt like a FAT COW and i wanted to change YEP!
SO WHAT FEELS BETTER!
Living life always thinking about EVERYTHING YOU PUT IN YOUR MOUTH?
OR
Being Fat and wishing you were thin ?????
WILL I EVER BE GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME ????
see you in the Am for WI.................

Self Sabatage

Yes that is just about what i did last night as i was in SELF pity mode i just started to EAT! and not care what was going in my mouth and when i am done doing this i feel HORRIBLE!
so on top of self Pity last night Lilleigh was sick so she was not in good shape witch sent me in to my emotional eating OMG !! i can't blow all that i have worked so hard for the last 3 wks (almost)
Anther thing that sent me to self Pity is i feel i work my butt off everyday working out i want that STUPID scale to say more then 1lb !!!!
i still have been getting on the scale EVERYDAY !! i can't seem to get grips and STOP! all i see is NO CHANGE WHY!! WHY !!! WHY!!! i have done well this week up till last night and really still done all that with in reason ! i know i have took bites here and there but my Deflect # are GREAT but no LOSS !
(OK so i can't send my self back in to self pity today or i will blow it for sure!)
WI is not till Thur so maybe something will fall off by then !?!?
(this is so why i HATE getting on the scale EVERYDAY (someone LOCK that thing UP )

Bike Rides

yesterday i got a pic of our family Bike ride so i will be posting that it was so nice yesterday we got out for some GREAT workouts

1. i did levels 1 & 2 for the 30 day shred

2. 32 mins on a bike ride

3.54 mins at the track we walked and ran it was so fun the little kids just did what they wanted

my eating is still going good i have not Binged in almost 3 wks WOOOHOOO me i really want to see the 150's this week ! so we shall see !

FEELING GOOD ABOUT MYSELF!!

ok so why is it when i don't SEE myself i always still feel FAT and ugly ?!?

i am so hard on myself then i take a pic and think OMG REALLY THATs ME ???? so i will toss in one of them OMG that's me pics i took yesterday :)